Sunday, 23 September 2012

So close yet so far!!


I am so close to finishing Birthright, it's not even funny anymore. But I'm also blocking... I'm trying to fit the three page scene I have in, and considering it's the very end scene I'm really struggling on filling the leading scenes in. I just can't think! I know the direction the story will go in, and part of me just wants to write any old thing down that makes sense to get it published... But the other part is like 'no no no don't do that'. Talk about an angel and devil on my shoulders.
It's almost worse, being so close to the end. I'm nearly finished page 70 on my word document, (70-80 pages is the average length for each story) and I know I have at least another three/four pages to write before I even put in the scene I have written. I mean, hello, this last scene is HUGE. It's massive, it's the final showdown! It has to be totally amazing... (and I totally need more suspense in the last few chapters but hey, I'll get to that later.)
It is making me angry, and maybe a little upset. Goddamn writers block! I can't even work on one of my other novels as my mind is 100% focused on what I'm doing.. The lights are on but nobody's home, clearly.
*knocks on head*
I sometimes think the hardest scenes to write end up being the best scenes. For example, due to the large amount of action in Birthright I've really struggled to fit in the 'normal' teen stuff.. but yesterday I wrote 3 pages worth on the notes on my phone (don't worry, I didn't bother e-mailing it, I just typed it up. Learnt my lesson on that one.) It's crazy, because as I am a teenager, and as the characters in The Mauve Legacy are so close to my age I feel like it should be easier. But then, being a mum, it's been so long since I had a 'proper teen conversation', about boys, and kisses and hot guys and kisses and boys and yeah, well, you get it. It's been a good two and a half years. But still, somehow, the teen mentality is there. It's just a little buried under dirty nappies, washing loads and strawberry milk.
If I go by the 'hardest scenes to write are the best scenes' mentality, then the last few scenes of Birthright should be amaaaaaaaazing, literally, because trying to fit it all together is like trying to fit a micro lego piece onto a megablock.
Nuh-uh, not happening, no way.
Damn it. Maybe I need to go back to the beginning of the book, read it through and edit as I go down it.. Or maybe back to re-typing the third book. oh, I dunno. I'll think of something.
I'm also considering publishing a little snippet of Birthright on here, just because I can, really. I honestly don't have any other reason than I want to.. so maybe..
Maybe I should stop rambling here and get the freak back to work.
Or maybe I should go and get a drink before that..
Yeah, there's an idea.


  1. its probebly a good idea to get your mind out of the book and back to the world for a few moments!
    reading ur so close to finish makes me happy:)
    but for u it must be hard to know ur so close and yet so far from finishing it due to a block.
    i cant even imagine how frustrating it must be.
    good luck with the final bit of the book :D
    cant wait to read here that its done and posted XD
    greetz Suzie

  2. Oh I definitely need to get my head back into the real world for a few! I've been working on this book for a good two months now, and I'm so close I can almost taste it - literally. A lot of loose ends have been tied up, and it is just getting the final battle down. I think I'll sit tonight and just imagine it in my mind, and then hopefully I can get it down in words. It doesn't help that I have other ideas rambling in my mind.. Maybe I just need to get those down before I can finish Birthright!